i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
