As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
