i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
