i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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