i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
