Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
