No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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