Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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