um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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