12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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