whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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