Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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