We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
