after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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