Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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