My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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