Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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