mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
