When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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