Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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