i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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