Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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