That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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