My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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