so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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