do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
