something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
