I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
