i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
