he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
