The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
