We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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