I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
