She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
