white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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