plz talk dirty to me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
