Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
