Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
