Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I want to fling myself into the sun
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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