Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
