The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Randomize
