Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
