I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize