He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
