Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
