A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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