nut hugger
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
