He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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