well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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