i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize