So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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