So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
