I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
