Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
