Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize