so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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