Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
